Chronically NOT My(OLD)self

Learning to LIVE WHOLE in spite of chronic pain and illness!

“It’s gonna be OK” May 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kimberly Walker @ 4:26 PM

1 Corinthians 14
Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts…. the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation.

Now and again I hear a story that touches my heart so deeply that it gives me reason to “pause”. In the case of the following story, not only did I “pause”, but tears welled up to the brims of my lower eyelids, spilled over, and streamed down my face. They were not tears of sadness, but tears of “joyful realization” that the TRUTH INDEED SETS US FREE.

Every May the 4th grade students from three elementary schools in the small town community where a dear friend of mine teaches gather for a sort of “graduation party” to celebrate their passing from the 4th to 5th grade and ultimately from elementary school to middle school. The purpose of the celebration is to relieve some of the anxiety the kids feel about leaving the only school many of them have ever known in life by introducing them to some of the other kids that will join them on their coming journey to their new school in the Fall. Running around the park that day was a boy who lives with Autism. His special education teacher says that he normally doesn’t talk much at all. But on this day when fears were high and assurance was needed, this young “Messenger of the TRUTH” was repeating in a loud voice, “It’s gonna be OK! It’s gonna be OK!”

I still shake my head in awe when I think about this. A young man with hardly a “voice” in life being used to shout “PEACE” to the weary. Oh, that we would all have those people in our life that cry out to us in the dark nights of our soul that “It’s gonna be OK!”

For 10 years prior to Donald and I getting married, and before I was injured, I was a single mom with two boys. While going through an especially difficult “moment” in life back then I can remember telling this same dear teacher friend of mine that I was “lonely” and that “I wished I had someone who could put their arms around me and tell me, “Every thing’s going to be alright.”

Isn’t that what we all want in life. To be assured that no matter what we are going through that it is going to be OK?

God is so very precious! He so often gives us the desires of our heart in terms that we can understand. He gave me that husband that tells me “Every thing’s gonna be OK, honey.”

As one living with chronic pain and illness, I can tell you there are days when I don’t feel like “it’s gonna be OK”. The worry for what may happen in the future looms large. Will I get worse? What will the long term effects of being on relatively “new” drugs be on my body? Will my inability to exercise like the average person eventually catch up with me? Will I lose my Disability Income someday? Will Donald get tired of caring for a “sick” person? If Donald dies before I do, who will help to take care of me? Will I wake up again tomorrow morning in an as much pain as I am going to sleep with tonight? Will the pain tomorrow be even worse than today? And on and on and on.

WE NEED ONE ANOTHER.

I’m pretty sure there is someone in the life of that little 4th grade boy with Autism that is regularly telling him, “It’s gonna be OK!” I can just imagine his momma holding him in her arms in those “moments” when life becomes difficult for him and her whispering in his ear, “It’s gonna be OK, sweetie! Just hang on. It’s gonna be OK!” And I can imagine there are times when he struggles against her as if to say, “NO! I don’t want your words and love to set me free from this turmoil!” But, at some level he must listen. For he is repeating it LOUD and CLEAR. I wonder if she knows he does this?

If I am honest with you there are times when God is so kind to send an earthly “messenger of truth” to me in my moment of despair and I will become annoyed with their celestial reasoning. I wish I understood why I do that.

I need you. I need all the support and encouragement I can get in my life.

The TRUTH is that it is gonna be MORE that OK! Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

God says that “in all things” (all those difficult situations), that He is working them out for the GOOD of those who love him! Not just OK. Not just Alright. BUT for GOOD!

**Remind me of this next time I get off into fear about what’s to come.**

And if this is one of those days when you just don’t want to hear the TRUTH…well today God is using me as the MESSENGER :)